Trunks, This Is Your Life
by Saiyan Hunter
Summary: This is just meant to be a complete farse. A year in the life of Trunks, but don't expect him to be the daring hero and the super cool guy that everyone knows. Don't understand what I'm talking about; read on. Just don't come after me. I'm just the me


Trunks, This Is your Life

****

Trunks Meets Pikachu

This was extremely embarrassing. It happened on a recent trip to Pallet Town. How I got there is still a mystery.

I was flying around. I wasn't going anywhere in particular. I just wanted to get some air, so I just took off. I flew for about an hour before I realized that I didn't know where I was. Figuring that I was lost, I decided to set down on the ground to see if I could get directions. I landed in a very, very small town. There were only three houses there.

"Where am I?" I asked myself out loud. I looked at the three houses. Two of them were next to each other. They looked totally identical. I looked over at the other house. It was a little bit bigger and longer. "I don't think that's a house. Maybe I can get directions inside." I walked over to the building and knocked on the door. A weird scientist-looking man opened the door.

"I work as an aide for Professor Oak." He said.

"Professor Oak? Is he the man of the house? May I speak to him?" I asked.

"I work as an aide for Professor Oak."

"Yes, I know. You already said that. I was wondering, though, if the Profess…"

"I work as an aide for Professor Oak." He was starting to scare me now. I saw that there was just a little bit of room to step by him. I slowly inched by him. He smiled at me. I past him and slowly backed up, watching him the whole time.

"I work as an aide for Professor Oak." Said someone from behind. I turned around and saw someone totally identical to the guy that answered the door. 

"No way!" I turned around. The guy was still at the door. I turned back around. His twin was still standing there. Past him I saw a little door. I ran by the second guy and opened the door. I ran into the room and slammed the door behind me. "Whew, that was close."

"Who are you?" Said a small, aged man from across the room. Next to him was a young kid with a red and white hat. Next to him was a small, yellow rat.

"What is that?" I asked, pointing at the yellow thing.

"That's my Pikachu." Said the kid. "My name is Ash Katchem and I'm training to be a Poke'mon master." I stared at him, wondering what he was talking about.

"I think that you should take this opportunity to fight this man in a Poke'mon battle. It would be a great start for your journey." Said the old man.  


"You think so, Professor Oak?"

"Yes."

"You're Professor Oak? I just need to ask you the way to…"

"Alright," said Ash, cutting me off, "let's do this. I choose you, Pikachu." The small rat ran in front of Ash and stood on its hind legs.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"I'm gonna battle you with Pikachu," he said enthusiastically. 

"I don't have a Poke'mon." I pleaded. "I don't even know what a Poke'mon is."

"Oh dear," said Professor Oak. "That does create a problem."

"Right. Now Professor Oak, I just need directions…"

"I guess you'll just have to do without." Professor Oak said calmly. "Get em' Ash."

"What! But…" It was too late. The little yellow Pikachu ran up to me and jumped on my face. It started gnawing away on my face. I grabbed it and peeled it off. I threw it across the room. I ran to the door and tried to open it, but it was locked.

"Ha ha, there is no escape." Laughed Ash. "Pikachu, thunder shock now!" The Pikachu ran over to me and started to glow with a yellow light.

"That's it." I said. "I'm gonna have to stop that little rat." I charged up a large ki blast and fired it at the rat.

"PIKACHU!" It yelled. It shot a thunderbolt at my blast. They collided and exploded and I was thrown back against the wall. I hit hard and slumped to the ground, unable to get up.

"Yeah, we did it! I won my first match!" Ash yelled. 

"What? That rat couldn't…" I looked over and saw the Pikachu with a smile on its face. "It couldn't really be that strong. No! I beat Frieza when Goku couldn't. This little shrimp can't beat me." I stood up and charged another blast. "Come here, little Pikachu. It's time to play." I fired again. It smiled and shot another thunderbolt. It collided with my ki blast and threw me back up against the wall. I fell unconscious.

"Wake up, mister." Said a voice. I opened my eyes and saw Ash standing over me. Pikachu was next to him. "Your Poke'mon skills need work. Why don't you come with Pikachu and me? We're going to become the best team ever."

"No thank you." I said politely, staring at Pikachu. "I just need directions back to Tokyo. Can you point me in the right direction?"

"Tokyo…don't think I know that place." He held out a hand and helped me to my feet.

"Alright then. Since I can't get home, I challenge you to one more match."

"I don't think that this is a good idea…"

"I want a shot at that little rodent again."

"Alright…um…Pikachu…I choose…you?" Pikachu ran out in front of Ash again. I held one hand out toward Pikachu.

"This time, Pikachu, you will feel the Big Bang Attack. One of my father's moves should be enough to vaporize you."

"Pikachu…thunder shock…now." Ash said with a little hesitation. I powered up the Big Bang Attack. Pikachu charged the thunder shock.

"C'mon, Pikachu, let's see what you've got. Ickubang Attack!" I yelled. I shot the Big Bang Attack, but it fizzled before it went anywhere. 

"PIKACHU!" was the last thing I heard that day.

Some time later I awoke in my own bed. I looked around. Everything was the way it was supposed to be. I ran downstairs and I saw Bulma, my mother.

"Mother, how did I get here? What happened?"

"Your father found you in the water. You were pretty beat up. What happened to you?'

"Um…I…well…nothing." Bulma looked at me suspiciously and walked out of the room. "Nothing but a little electric rat."

****

Trunks and the Poke'mon Card

It was Tuesday. I was just finishing some light training when my stomach started to growl.

"Man, I'm hungry. Maybe I should go get something to eat…like some Burger King." I stopped my training and decided to run over to the nearest Burger King to get a small meal. I arrived at the Burger King about a half hour later. I was very tired. I stopped briefly at the door to catch my breath, and then I walked in. There was a small line. I went to the end of the line. It moved rather quickly.

"Hello, can I take your order?" asked the attendant.

"Yes, I would like a cheeseburger meal with a coke." I paid the money and sat down at a nearby bench. It took only a minute before the worker was back with my food.

"Here you go, sir," she said as she handed me the tray. I took it to the dining room. There were a lot of kids running around with their Poke'mon cards.

"Must be Poke'mon trading night." I said to myself. I took my food out the bag and spread it out on the tray. I noticed a plastic bag at the bottom. I took it out and looked it over. It was red and white. I ripped open the plastic and found a gold colored card in it. I pulled out the cord and examined it. It had a picture of a little rodent on it…a yellow one. I recognized it immediately. It was that yellow rat, Pikachu.

"That no good rodent." I said. It upset me that I had lost to him three times. _Three times! _Trying to keep my composure, I looked the card over a little more and saw something written on the bottom.

"Pikachu: Gold Version." I said inadvertently out loud. That was a mistake.

"Hey, mister, you have a Pikachu?" Asked a kid in the next booth.

"Uh…yeah."

"You want to trade?"

"Sorry, kid," I said apologetically. I had plans for Pikachu. He was going to be in the center of my dartboard…when I bought one.

"How about if I give you a Charmander?" asked another kid.

"No thanks." I said politely.

"For an Articuno?" asked another kid. I started to answer him, but then I noticed that a crowd of kids was starting to gather around me. I backed into the bench. They came closer, all of them holding their cards up and making offers. It was a scary sight. I realized that I had accidentally gotten into the Poke'mon craze, what no sane person would even think of doing. I would have gotten rid of the card, but giving it to any one person would have caused a riot among the others. Instead of that, I backed up to the window. I hoped that maybe the parents would see what was going on and stop it, but eventually I realized that the parents knew not even they could stop the Poke'mon craze. The kids crowded me even more now, sticking their salty fingers and greasy hands in my face. I pushed up even more against the window. Finally, it gave way and I fell out. I hit the ground with a thud.

"Owww," I said, rubbing my head. "That was unpleasant." I stood up and looked back into the restaurant. All of the kids were running for the doors…no, for me.

"Oh dear." I started to run. I looked back at the door. They were busting through in a mad rush. "Oh my god, this isn't happening." I yelled. I really tried to run, but I was still tired from my training. The kids were gaining on me fast. I summoned one last spurt of energy, hoping to put enough distance between us to discourage them from continuing to pursue me, but I didn't have enough energy to get far. A few steps later I stopped and fell to my knees. I couldn't run anymore. The kids, who had just eaten greasy food, still had enough stamina to make it to me without breaking a sweat. I put out a hand, hoping to fire a small ki blast to keep them away, but they came too quickly and stopped me. They all jumped on me and beat me mercilessly. They punched, kicked, and drooled on me. The card was of my jacket, so it took even longer for them to get to it. I was helpless as they ripped my jacket apart. The card popped out of the pocket and fell a few feet away. The crowd ran after it, trampling over me as they did.

"Owwww." I said, trying to bear the pain. I tried to get up and go, but I was thrashed. Instead I just closed my eyes and went to sleep.

"LET THIS BE A NIGHTMARE, PLEASE!!!"

****

Trunks' Driving Test

It was about three months ago. It was a day I had been waiting for. I finally would be able to take my driver's test and get my license. I wouldn't have to worry about walking everywhere anymore. Also, later on that day, I had tickets to Wrestlemania; I would be able to drive there. I had front row seats. _Front row seats!_ It couldn't get better than that. I had to schedule my test early so that I could have extra time to ride around and show off my license.

My father dropped me off at the DMV.

"Wish me luck, dad," I said almost childishly. He responded by driving off, kicking up a lot of dust in my face. I coughed, but I didn't mind. Nothing, and I mean nothing, could take away the feeling I had. I wasn't nervous at all. I knew I would pass. I just was so excited that I wanted to get it over with. I walked around and asked directions to the testing area. I found my way and was soon waiting for my instructor.

"Are you Trunks?" asked a large, round man.

"Yes." I answered.

"Weird name. None of my business, though. My name is John. It's nice and simple. I'll be your evaluator today." He pointed toward a car off to the side. It was yellow with "Student" in black letters. I got in and started up the car. I pulled out of the area and onto the street.

"Okay," he said, "take a left." I came onto the corner and turned. As I did, I noticed a big traffic jam.

"What happened here?"

"I don't know." He said. "Let's back up out of here. It was too late. There were already five cars behind us.

"Well what do we do now?"

"We wait."

I looked at my watch. It said 10:30 am. The show started at 7:00 pm. "I'll be alright." I thought to myself. I've got plenty of time. We'll be out of here in a few minutes…

****

Trunks' Showdown at Noon

This actually happened last week. I was walking through a mall, not doing anything in particular. I saw a display that said Will Smith would be coming in a few hours. Seeing as I had nothing to do, I sat down on a bench and waited. About three hours later, the place was packed. I stood up to stretch out. I walked over to the crowd and tried to peer over them, but they were too tall. I worked my way around the crowd and found a spot next to the door that went behind the stage. I stood there and waited. As the time grew closer, I was pushed closer to the door. Finally, Will Smith appeared on the stage in his Wild Wild West outfit. At about the same time I was shoved through the door. I fell to the ground and the door slammed close behind me.

"That was rude." I said. I stood up and dusted myself off. I tried to open the door, but it wouldn't budge. After a few seconds of trying to open it, I realized that it was shut tight and locked. I looked around for another exit. A few yards away, I saw a bright light shinning from behind a curtain. I knew that I shouldn't have gone through but, seeing it was the only way out, I opened the curtain and walked through.

"Where am I?" I asked myself. It looked like I had walked into a western. There was a crowd and…then it hit me. I had walked on to the Wild Wild West set. How could I be so absent minded and walk onto the stage? Will Smith was looking at me. He was smiling. I expected the worst. That's what I got.

"Well, well, well. Seems we have a desperado on our hands." He took a pistol from out of his holster. 

"Wait a minute! I think there's a mistake, I'm not the…" Before I could finish, Will fired a shot at my foot. I hopped to the side.

"Dance, ha ha, ha ha." The music from the Wild Wild West song started to play. "Wild Wild West. Jim West, desperado. Rough Rider…" As he sang, he danced back and forth, firing bullets at me. I dodged his bullets and ran to the end of the stage. I jumped off and over the people. I floated over the last few people, landing on one knee. I turned around and looked at the stage. I couldn't see Will Smith, but I could still hear him singing.

"Well once upon a time in the West…" It became louder. I realized that he was moving closer. I saw the crowd was moving. I realized that he was moving toward me. I ran away from the crowd just as he emerged. He fired a few more shots at me. He dodged them as I ran top speed down the hall. I knew there was no reasoning with him; maybe he had gone mad. I looked for a place to hide. I spotted a window with a thick shade off to the left. It seemed too obvious, but I didn't have a lot of choices. I ran over and hid behind the curtain.

"He's behind the curtain!" Someone yelled. I froze. I prayed that he was talking about someone else. A bullet ripped through the curtain, shattering the window inches from my neck.

"Guess not." I jumped out from behind the curtain. Will Smith was right there. I backed up to the wall. There was nowhere to go. Smith walked up to me with his gun aimed at my head."

"For any outlaw, trying to thaw, thinking your bad…" The crowd was cheering as he sang. I stood uneasily against the wall. Finally, he finished his song a few minutes later. "Your sorry desperado ass has met its match in Jim West." He pulled the trigger.

"AAHHHHHHHHH" I screamed.

A small flag came out of the gun and rolled down to the floor. It said, "Buy the Wild Wild West on video, only $14.95; also on DVD, only $15.95. In stores now!"

I almost cracked up. I slumped back off the wall and Will Smith put is arm on my shoulder.

"Sorry about that. I thought you were the stuntman."

"That's okay." I said, relieved he wasn't trying to kill me.

"Well, the least I can do for you is buy you some pants to make up for it."

"Pants?" I looked down at my pants and saw a wet streak down my leg. "Oh my god!" I ran behind the curtain again. All the people in the crowd started laughing. "It just isn't my day." I thought to myself. "What else can go wrong?"

Just then, I heard a vehicle pull up. I peered from behind the curtain. A cop was standing there. There was a small man with him.

"Is this the guy," the cop asked gruffly, pointing at me.

"Yes," said the man, "That's him. He's the one who ruined my show."

"Okay, son, come with me." The officer grabbed my hand and pulled me out from behind the curtain. I struggled, pulling on the curtain. It came down and I covered myself with it.

"You'll have to pay for that, too." The officer said. I moaned and threw the curtain over my head. The officer led me to the buggy and put me in the back. Then he drove us away. 

"This just isn't fair," I said to myself.

****

Trunks' Driving Test continued…

It was about 3:00. We had managed to get about 3 blocks away from where we had gotten stuck. I was irritated.

"I've been on the road plenty of times before. There has never been a traffic jam. Why now?"

"Are you in a rush to get somewhere?" John asked.

"Well, not right now, but later on I'm going to Wrestlemania. You have to be in the door before 7:00 pm as you can't get in."

"Wrestlemania! You mean that you're going to see Triple H vs. The Rock in the Steel Cage Ladder Match for the WWF World Title? Wow! That's great. I'm going to watch Wrestlemania on pay-per-view. I couldn't get any tickets though. They sold out before I could even call. By the way, where are you sitting?"

"I've got front row seats."

"WOW!" He yelled. A couple of people in nearby cars turned around and looked at us. I shrank into the chair to avoid being seen. I started to hyperventilate. "Alright, alright, calm down. You'll get there." He put his hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, I've got an idea," I said, my voice breaking with excitement with excitement, "Why don't we end the test right now. You can flunk me; I'll come back some other time."

He shook his head. "I can't let you go until we get back to the test site. I could get in trouble if I did. Company policy…sorry."

I sank a little bit more into the seat. I was really depressed.

"Keep your head up, son. Just think about it. What are the chances of us being stuck here in two hours?"

"…"

"Exactly. I'll tell you what. We'll listen to the traffic report and find out how the clean up is going. They must have solved the problem by now." He reached over and clicked on the radio.

"Hello, this is Dan Patrick with your KWBO road report, brought to you by Burger King, where you can go every Tuesday for Poke'mon night. Burger King, get your burgers worth. Well folks, this has to be the worst traffic jam I have ever seen. More cars are coming out and adding to the catastrophe. This might not clear for a couple of hours. I feel bad for anyone who needs to get anywhere today. On a lighter note, today is the last day our towns' favorite arena will stand. After today's event, it will be torn down and made into a parking lot for Burger King. Burger King, get your burgers worth. The event, WWF Wrestlemania, is the perfect way to go out with a bang. Hold on. I've been told that over a thousand people who bought tickets are walking to the arena. This is the cause of the traffic jam. It's…" I clicked the radio off and sunk all the way to the bottom of the seat. I dropped my head and sighed.

****

Trunks Meets the Rock

_We are sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused, but The Rock will not be appearing in this story. In a memo obtained from The Rock's lawyer, The Rock stated "The Rock does not associate himself with roody poo jabronees like this pathetic candy ass. The Rock wouldn't be caught dead in a book with the same name as this goof. Now leave The Rock alone before he has to layeth the smacketh down on somebody's candy ass."_

Once again, we are sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused.

****

Trunks Driving Test Finale

It was 6:30. I was back at the DMV (thankfully) and I was next in line to get my license. It was only a few minutes until I was called.

"May I see your slip?" asked the old clerk. I handed it to him. He squinted his eyes and adjusted his bifocals, bringing the paper closer. "Okay, sit over there." He pointed to a chair. I sat down and started fixing my shirt.

"All done." He said.

"Yeah, I'm ready." I fixed my shirt one last time.

"We're already done."

"What do you mean 'already done'?"

"Here you go. Have a nice day." He looked by me and motioned for the next person in line. He placed my license on the counter. I picked it up and looked at it.

"You can't even see my face!" I thought. I started to protest, but I had to get to the arena. I ran out of the DMV and into the parking lot. I found my car all the way at the back. I ran to it and jumped in. I set everything up in light speed. I looked at my watch. 6:47. I was cutting it really close. 

"Where's Gohan?" I asked myself out loud. I scanned the area quickly before spotting him across the street with Videl. Seeing as I had no time to run over to him, I slammed the gas on the car and screeched straight at him. "GOHAN!" I yelled as I floored the brakes and stopped a few inches from hitting him. "Let's go!" 

For some reason, Gohan didn't move right away. He looked like he had seen a ghost.

"C'mon!"

"Right!" He snapped out of his trance and jumped into the car. No sooner had his body touched the seat, I sped off, almost throwing him clear out of the car. We had to make up lost time. I drove like a madman, weaving in and out of traffic at 50 mph.

"Trunks, don't you think you should slow down a little bit?" He looked a little concerned. I glanced quickly over at my watch. 6:55. Slow down? Wasn't a very likely thing. Instead, I pushed the mph up to 60. In a matter of seconds, I could see the arena. We were coming up fast.

"We're gonna make it. We're…WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" There was a huge traffic jam right in front of the arena. It was backed up for blocks.

"Guess we won't make it, Trunks." Gohan sounded a little relieved. I ignored him. I pushed the mph up to 70. "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking a short cut."

"Where? The whole place is packed."

"No one's on the sidewalk."

"WHAT?" Before he could object, I swerved onto the sidewalk. The few people in front of us dived for their lives. We came up on the end of the block and there was a row of cars in front of us. "What'll we do now?"

"Easy. Shoot a ki blast into the floor. That will propel the car over the barricade." 

"That's not going to work, Trunks. If we shoot ki blasts, then…"

"On the count of three," I interrupted. "One…"

"Trunks…"

"Two…"

"Oh no…"

"THREE!" Both Gohan and I fired ki blasts into the ground. Although Gohan made the mistake of firing his directly into the car. The force of the blasts carried us over the barricade as I thought it would. However, it seems that the car did not follow us. It instead careened out of control and crashed into a pole and promptly blew into a hundred pieces. 

"Didn't expect that to happen." Said Gohan. I flashed a "shut up" look at him. We touched down to the ground and ran toward the arena.

"We've got 1 minute. We're going to make it." I said with joy. I should have known better than to open my mouth. Just as we were making out way up the stairs, I tripped and twisted my ankle. Gohan, who saw me fall, stopped dead in his tracks. We were only a few feet away from the door.

"No. This can't happen. C'mon, Trunks, get up!"

"I…can't…"

"Dammit. Give me your hand." I extended an arm out to him, figuring that with his help, I could hop the rest of the way. However, the moment I grabbed his hand, Gohan snatched the tickets out of my pocket.

"Hey!"

"There's no reason for both of us to miss the show." He started to run through the door.

"Give me back my ticket! You don't need it. You're only one person!"

"But I do need it." Said Videl. She ran by me and joined Gohan I the doorway.

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE?"

"I took a short cut. See ya later, Trunks." They both walked through the doors, which closed behind them. I was in shock.

"Why me?" I asked myself. "Can anything else possibly go wrong?" Just then, I saw a policeman walking up the stairs toward me. He was carrying my license plates, which seemed to be the only thing left of the car. Without even saying a word, I held my hands out to be handcuffed. He handcuffed them and dragged me down the steps and to the police station, which was ten blocks away.

"I know I shouldn't have opened my mouth."

****

Trunks and The Itsy Bitsy Spider

It was springtime. It was the time when everybody finally gets a chance to start going outdoors in shorts and T-shirts. Unfortunately, my mother was more interested in something else. She was thinking of the evil side of spring…spring-cleaning. I was pulled into the most boring and tedious chore of the entire year. Of course, there was no excuse in the world that could get me out of this. So, with great sorrow, I decided to even bother. The best chance I had was just to get it over and done with. Mother was very happy to hear of my surrender.

"That's good to hear Trunks. I just with your father could help; he's allergic to dust."

"But he…" I stopped myself. "Unbelievable," I thought, "He got out of spring cleaning with a lame excuse like allergies…that gave me an idea. I started rubbing my nose and coughing.

"Is there a problem, Trunks?"

"No, I'm just feeling a little sick. I think maybe I should go back to sleep." Bulma felt my head.

"You feel fine. You can start down in the basement." She started to go upstairs.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I'm going to get something in my room. Don't worry about me. Just start in the basement." She disappeared up the stairway. I walked toward the basement door.

"Well, lets get his over with." I opened the door and walked down the stairs. At the bottom, I pulled a string and the lights came on. "Now, let's see- Ahhhhh!" I almost threw up. There were dirty clothes and garbage everywhere. Also, there was a door that was overpowering. It made me a little light headed.

"I can't believe this. It's a dump. Why do I have to?" Then it hit me. I had been yet up. "They meant to leave me down here. Father left so he wouldn't have to clean it. Bulma…is still upstairs." I immediately ran back up the stairs. However, I didn't get 3 steps before I heard the tires on my mother's car screeching. I listened as the car moved away form the house and down the street. I fell to my knees in defeat. When I did, I noticed my knees had landed in some green slime.

"Ahhhhh!" I yelled as I jumped up. I impulsively started to wipe it off. Now it was on my hands. I gagged. I grabbed a nearby shirt and wiped it off. The shirt left speaks of black goop on my hands.

"Wonderful." I walked over to the wall and inspected it to make sure nothing would come off on my hands. "This just isn't my day." I started to wipe off the goop, but t wouldn't come off.

"Oh, what else could go wrong?" I said in despair. Just then (right on cue), I noticed a shadow on the wall that wasn't mine. It was insect-like.

"There must be a spider on the light bulb." I turned around and almost had a heart attack. Standing in front of me was a 7-foot spider. I did the only thing I could do…"Ahhhhhh!" The spider, possibly started by my scream, whacked me up against the wall. I slumped to the floor in a pile of dirty socks.

"What the hell is that?" I asked myself. The spider took a step toward me. Then it opened its mouth (?) and spit a weird, sticky, white substance at me. It hit me in the face.

"Mmmmph!" I tried to get it off, but the black goop on my hands kept me from grabbing it. I couldn't see, but I could hear the spider coming closer. I readied myself in a boxer's stance.

"Wait for it…" I thought, "Wait for it…now!" I swung a palm at the spider. However, I completely missed and spun around. The spider caught me and stuffed my head in its mouth.

"MMMPH!" I struggled to get free, but I was being sucked farther in. I was also starting to lose consciousness.

"I've got to get rid of it before it kills me." I thought. Then I had an idea. If I charged a large enough ki blast, I could blow the goop off my hands and blow the spider away at the same time.

"Alright, here goes nothing." I started to charge two energy balls. The spider swallowed me all the way.

"Squish goes the spider!" I yelled through the sticky web. I fired the energy balls. The goop on my hands liquefied and came off. I could feel myself fall to the ground.

"Ow." I said. I started to rip the rest of the sticky web off from my eyes and face.

"TRUNKS!" yelled Bulma from the top of the steps. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" I finished cleaning all of the web off of my face and took a look around. The spider had been blown to bits and its guts had gotten all over the basement. I knew Bulma was furious about that.

"It's okay, mom," I said as I looked up at her, "I'll clean it…" It was at that time that I noticed something else. It seems that when I blew the spider up with the blast, I also blew up the house. Who'da knew. I looked at my mother. She was fuming at the ears and ready to blow. Oh dear.

She jumped down from the ground and approached me. The last thing I remember was Bulma trying to choke me to death.

"What happened?" I said as I sat up. I was in a bed. I rubbed my throat. It was sore. Then I remembered the spider. "I'm alive…that's not good." I knew that if she had spared my life, she had some other evil intentions. I threw the covers off and jumped out of bed. I rubbed my eyes and walked over to a full-length mirror across the room. I dusted off my shirt…and gasped. There, on my chest, was a yellow "M". I knew Bulma had struck.

"You're going to pay for that house," she said from the doorway. "Good luck…at you new job!"

"…NOOOOOOOOOO!"

****

Trunks' First Job

My life was good. It was actually very good. I was happy. Then Spring Cleaning came along. Then the normal stuff; go to the basement, battle a great spider, blow up the house. Mom took it pretty hard. She choked me until I passed out and signed me up for a job at McDonalds. That's where I am now. My punishment for blowing up the house. As if Dad's never done anything wrong.

I was working the front counter. A small kid walked up to me.

"Hello, may I take you order?" I asked. It sent a shiver up my spine every time I said it.

"Do you have Poke'mon cards?" He asked, snot coming down his face.

"No, sorry. Poke'mon cards are at Burger King." The kid ran away crying.

"Trunks, what are you doing?" asked my manager. He was short and plump. I scratched my head.

"What did I do wrong?"

"You told him to go to Burger King. Do you work at Burger King?"

"…No."

"NO! That's right! So don't do it again!" He stormed off to the back. Moments later, the little kid came back around to the counter with a big, strong man.

"Is this the one, son?" The man asked. The kid nodded. The man looked at me. "You made my son cry."

"I didn't do it…" Before I could finish explaining myself, he punched me I the left eye and walked away. I fell to the ground.

"Punk." I muttered as I stood up, a little wobbly from the hit.

"What'd you say?" He demanded from around the corner. He obviously was still in hearing range. That wasn't good. He walked back around the corner. I froze in my place.

"I…but you…and…" WHAM! He hit me in the right eye, knocking me down again. Then he walked away. This time I didn't say anything. However, my vision was very blurry now. I stumbled around, trying to get up. My hands fumbled along the counter until they found the wall. I propped myself up against it.

"Slacking off again, Trunks?" asked the manager. I could barely see him. 

"Could I take a break, boss? I'm in real pain and…"

"A break? If anything, you'll be working overtime. Now get up, shut up, and get to work!" He stormed off to the back again. I rubbed my eyes and stood up. I managed to make it look like I wasn't in pain. For a few minutes, nobody came. Then the worst customer I could possibly get came through the doors. It was father, otherwise known as Vegeta. I was caught totally by surprise. I knew he wasn't there to eat. He was there to make my life a living hell. To top it off, I was still a little bit groggy from the two punches to my eyes. I hoped that someone else would take his order, but they all ran to the back. He walked up to me and smiled. 

"So," he started. He grabbed my collar and pulled me toward him. He looked at my name pin. "So…Trunks, are you ready to take my order?"

"…um…uh…yes."

"Okay. I want…hmmmm…let me think. I'll take…a…hey, kid, you don't look so well. You got beat up again, didn't you?"

"…"

"It was the big guy with the snot nosed kid over there, wasn't it?"

"…"

He walked away without saying another word to me. He went around the corner. At first there was silence, but then there was the too familiar sound of a ki blast. Moments later, Vegeta walked from around the corner again. I was very concerned.

"What did you do?" I asked him.

"Nothing. I just fried his French fries." He calmly walked out of the restaurant. I ran from around the counter and went around the corner. What I saw was…nothing, except a big, black spot that was giving off a little bit of smoke.

"Oh my."

"OH MY GOD!" yelled the manager. I turned around. He had his hands on his head. "WHAT HAPPENED?"

I didn't know what to do. I couldn't rat on my father, but I couldn't take the blame myself either. I responded with the only thing that made sense.

"Um…it was…"

"YOU! YOU DID THIS!"

"WHAT! NO! It wasn't me!" Now I was ready to rat on my father. "It was a guy that came in here. He zapped them."

"Zapped them? That's the...Trunks, YOUR FIRED!"

"But I didn't do it." It didn't matter, though. He was already pushing me out the door. I couldn't reason with him. He pushed me all the way out and slammed the door behind him. I just stood there a moment, thinking.

"Great, I just got fired from McDonalds…that's…a good thing. Hey, that's great. Maybe my luck is turning around. I can't wait to tell mom about…oh no. How am I going to pay for the house?" I dropped to my knees. "How am I going to…NOOOO!"

****

Trunks Meets Mr. Chicken

Because of my recent bad luck with fast food restaurants, I decided not to go to any more for the time being. However, Bulma decided that I should at least try to go out and eat, so I didn't have much of a choice. She also suggested that I try a smaller restaurant. It was a good idea at the time. In our area, there is a restaurant called Mr. Chicken. It's local, but very quiet. I figured I'd go there.

Mr. Chicken keeps very strict hours. It is only open for a few hours at a time. I decided that since I had a lot of time on my hands, I would go during the day to avoid any children. I went at about 1:00 in the afternoon. There were only about seven people in the restaurant. That was good. Then there was the chicken man. The stereotypical yellow chicken that stands outside the restaurant, trying to get people to go inside. The chicken man was walking away from the bathroom, so I assumed that was what he just did (go to the bathroom). I began to wonder how he was supposed to go to the bathroom with suit on.

"Maybe there is a zipper in the front." As he walked by me, I looked him over, searching for a zipper.

"Can I help you, sir? He asked.

"I was just wondering how you go to the bathroom with that suit on?"

"Oh, a wise guy, eh? You think it's funny that I have to hold it in for 7 hours? Well, why don't you try it, punk!" He ripped off the head to the costume and stuffed it on me. Then he stormed out the door, muttering something about respect. I pulled the head off and walked over to the counter. A woman came from the back kitchen.

"What did you say to him?"

"I just said…"

"It doesn't matter. That was my only chicken man."

"I'm sorry, but…"

"That's it! You're going out there. You're my new chicken man."

"What?"

"You're my new chicken man. Now GO!"

"But…" I stopped myself. I knew that I was arguing in vain. There was no point. So, with great reluctance, I donned the chicken head and walked out the door.

"This is embarrassing." I said out loud, to no one in particular.

"Oh, so you're too good to be a chicken man." Said a voice from behind. It was the chicken man, without the head.

"It's just that."

"So you think you can steal my job, eh? Put em' up, pretty boy." I couldn't even react before he took the chicken head and turned it around on me. I tried to turn it back, but he punched me in the stomach before I could. I doubled over in pain.

"What's going on?" I heard someone ask. I yanked off the chicken head. People were watching from the other side of the street.

"Wonderful," I thought, "I can see the headlines now; Trunks vs. The Chicken man." I threw the huge head at him, hoping to knock him down. It knocked him back, but he bounced off of the ground.

"Is that your best shot, sonny? Let's see if you can punch like a man," He pointed to his face. "Hit me. I'll give you a free shot." He put his head back on. I shrugged, seeing nothing else more logical to do than to swing. I reared back and swung with all my strength and hit him right in the face. That was the last thing I remember of that day.

Later on, I woke up in the apartment we were renting.

"Oh," I moaned, "What happened?" I sat up. "This is familiar. I've woke up in my bed before. This isn't good." I looked over to the side of the bed. There was a newspaper…with me on the cover. I snatched it off the floor and read the headline. "Mr. Chicken Whoops Ass!" I was stunned. That didn't seem to make sense. I was beginning to remember more and I remember hitting him right in the face. I read on.

"In a shocking event yesterday, our beloved Mr. Chicken was drawn into a street fight with an unknown youngster. Fortunately, the youngster did not know about Mr. Chicken's rubbery head, and he was hit with his own punch when it bounced back at him."

"You're kidding." I said to myself. I felt my forehead. There was definitely an indentation. I put my fist into the indent; it was a perfect fit. I slumped into the bed.

"He's upstairs," I heard someone say. It was Vegeta. A few seconds later, policemen broke into my door.

"Are you Trunks?"

I sighed and nodded my head.

"Trunks, you are under arrest for making an ass out of yourself in public," said one of the policemen. 

"Wait! WHAT? You can't arrest me for a charge like that. I won't…"

"If you don't settle down, we'll have to quiet you down," exclaimed another officer.

"…I am a tax payer. You can't treat me like this…"

"Get em' boys!" They all jumped me at once, beating mercilessly. Then they carted me off to jail.

****

Trunks' New Years Eve Party

Needless to say, it was December 31, 1999. We were ready to party. For all of the hell I have gone through the past year (Pikachu, Will Smith, Mr. Chicken), I finally had a chance to do something fun without blowing up in my face. Everyone was there. Goku, Krillan, Gohan, Bulma, Goten, Chi Chi, Ox King, Master Roshi, Piccolo, Oolong, Puar, Tien, Yamcha, Choazu, and Vegeta.

The party started at 7:00 PM. The first one to arrive was Krillan. He muttered something about "Number 18" and "bowling night." Number 18 came in behind him and cursed about "bald headed choir boy" and "sissy". Rather than ask what was going on, I thought it safest not to ask. I sat down and relaxed for a few minutes.

"Ding, dong." The bell rang. I opened the door and Goten walked in with Chi Chi, Ox King, Gohan, and Goku.

"Hey Trunks, nice party" said Goku. He patted me on the head…I hated that. I sat back down. In the next hour, Puar, Yamcha, Tien, Master Roshi, Choazu and (eventually) Vegeta showed up. It was time to start the party for real. I turned up the music.

"Ding, dong." The bell rang again. I looked over the crowd and counted. Everyone was already here.

"Oh, Trunks. I invited a few people over," said Goku. "They didn't have anywhere to go. Hope you don't mind."

"No." There was a lot of excess food there, anyway. I opened the door and nearly jumped out of my skin. It was Frieza and Cell.

"Hello, Trunks," Frieza said with a smile. "We were just in the neighborhood and we were thinking we would see what our good friend Trunks was doing. Oh, a party. Don't mind if I do." He pushed by me before I could object. Cell, however, stayed outside.

"Hello, Trunks. No hard feelings about the killing you thing."

"None."

"I'll tell you what. To make it up to you, at the stroke of midnight on the new millennium, Frieza and I will destroy the house with everyone in it. That way, you won't be the only one to die." He patted me on the shoulder. "How's that?" He went by me into the house. I followed him a few seconds later. I scanned the crowd for Goku, realizing that he would be the best hope to stop them. I found him at the punch bowl. I ran over to him.

"Goku," I whispered, "We have a problem. Cell and Frieza are here."

"I know. I invited them."

"What! Why?" I said, whispering loudly.

"They had no where to go." He poured a cup of punch and took a sip. "Don't worry. With everyone here, they won't try anything."

"Cell already told me he is going to blow us up at the stroke of midnight."

"Really?" He grabbed me by the hand and dragged me through the crowd. Cell was by a window at the other side of the room.

"Can I help you, Kakarot?" He asked, not taking his eyes off of the moon. 

"Did you tell Trunks that you were going to blow up the house?"

He smiled and chuckled a bit. "No, no, no. I simply told him that at the stroke of midnight we were going to blow up this party. He must have taken it the wrong way.

Goku smiled and looked at me. "See Trunks, crisis over." He went back into the party. Cell looked back out the window. Then is started to laugh.

"Nice try, Trunks, but everyone here is too busy having a good time to worry about dying at midnight." He paused. "Say goodbye to Bulma for me." He started to laugh again. I was becoming irritated. I knew I had to stop him and Frieza before…where was Frieza. I ran back through the crowd. They seemed to have gathered around something. I fought my way to the front. There, in the middle of the floor was Frieza, busting a move. The crowd was clapping. Frieza was joking and giving. It was actually impressive. I found myself clapping along with them. Finally, he finished with a split. Everyone was cheering, including me. I walked over to the couch to relax.

"What do you think you're doing?" asked Chi Chi. She sat down next to me.

"Relaxing, for the first time in a long time."

"Not when I want to dance." She grabbed my arm and yanked me off the couch. After a little reluctance. I let loose and started dancing. Before long, everybody was crowding around us.

"Go Chi Chi, go Trunks! Go Chi Chi, go Trunks!" they all chanted. I grabbed Chi Chi's hand and twirled her around. Then she leaned back and slid through my legs. She stood up, back-to-back with me, and posed on the final beat of the song. Everyone was cheering.

"Not bad" said Chi Chi. She ran over to Goku and kissed him. "Now it's your turn." She grabbed him and disappeared into the crowd. I was spent.

"Wow, that was fun!" I thought to myself. I decided to get some snacks, so I walked over to the table. I grabbed a plate and started to pile things on.

"Those were some interesting moves, Trunks," said Cell from behind. I turned around, nodded, and went back to getting my snacks. "It is just a shame that you won't be able to dance the night away. You know, with you dying and all." I looked back at Cell. He was grinning evilly. He walked away just as Ox King came to the table.

"Well, I must say, Trunks, this is a really fun party." I didn't really hear him. I was busy thinking about how to stop Cell. Then I hit me. Dad will help. He hates Frieza and Cell…and everyone else, but he really hates Frieza. He'll help.

"…And you should really change the decorations." Ox King said.

"Huh?" I said confused.

"What?"

"Um, Ox King, have you seen Dad around here?"

"That's him out there, isn't it." He pointed out window. Dad was getting into his Jeep. I ran to the door and caught him before he left.

"When are you going, Dad?" I asked, slamming my hands on his door. He stared at me and then my hands. I immediately removed them from the door.

"I am not staying have with that while freak of nature in there. I don't need to tell you why."

"But I need you help. Cell is going to destroy the house. Everyone is going to die!"

"It wouldn't be the first time, now would it?" I thought about that. He did have a point.

"We still have to stop him, though."

"We? You're the one that invited him. You deal with him." With that, he drove off.

"I DIDN'T INVITE HIM!" I yelled at him. He ignored me and disappeared down the street. I went back into the house and sat down.

"Wake up, Trunks" said Master Roshi. I jumped up out of the seat.

"What time is it?"

"It's 11:55. We are about to light the candle on the cake."

"Cake? There's no cake."

"Oh yeah, that's right. You were asleep. About an hour ago, Buu came in with a cake. Its over there on the table." I peered over at the table. There it was, and it was huge. It was probably about the size of me when I was eight years old. I looked at the "inscription". It said, "Let's start off the New Year with a BANG!" I began to feel queasy.

"Yeah," Roshi continued, "he was rambling on about 'BANG!' and 'BOOM!'"

"Did anyone check the cake?"

"I tried to 'check' it, but Bulma put a knot on my head for my trouble."

"Where is Buu?"

"He's over there, showing off his dance moves to Goten." I watched Buu break dancing. Goten was cheering him on. Everyone seemed to be preoccupied. The TV was on and everyone else was watching the party that was going on downtown. I figured that it was a s good a time as any to check the cake. I calmly walked over to the table, trying not to draw any attention. I stuck a finger out toward the candle and poked it. It seemed to have some weight to it. I started to take it out of the cake when Bulma grabbed me from behind.

"Oh no you don't. You'll wait like everyone else." She dragged me away from the cake and threw me on the couch. The Ox King and his arm over my shoulder and held me tight.

"Oh, this is exciting," He said, jumping up and down. 

"Turn that off, Dad," said Bulma. "We are going to light the candle."

"Why are we lighting a candle?" I asked.

"It is a custom of mine, Trunks," said Cell, grinning at me. It wasn't a surprise that Cell had suggested the candle. It made sense. Anyone could sense ki energy building up, but a bomb couldn't be sensed. 

"How much time is there?" asked Krillan. Bulma looked at her watch. "There is one minute left." I panicked. I struggled to get away from Ox King. He was totally ignoring me. He probably couldn't feel me struggling.

"Alright," said Goku. "Let's start the countdown."

"Yeah!" everyone said in unison. I struggled even harder.

"20!" They yelled. I had to think fast. There had to be a way to get away from his vice grip.

"15!" I really was squirming now. Ox King looked like he was in a trance.

"10!" I was desperate. I did the only thing I could think of- I bit him.

"Ouch, that hurt!" he said. He started to rub his arm, giving me enough room to get free. I slipped down to the ground.

"5!"

I pushed through everyone and made it to the cake. I snatched the entire cake (no easy task) and darted for the door.

"Hey!" yelled Bulma. She tried to grab me, but I was too quick. I ran by her. As I made my way to the door, I could see Cell out of the corner of my eye. He was very upset.

"3!" said Ox King. He was all by himself, though. He seemed too oblivious to what was going on. I ran to the door and yanked it open (don't ask how). In motion, I threw the cake out the door and jumped back in the house. I covered my head and waited.

"Everyone, DUCK!" No one moved.

"0! Happy New Year," said Ox King joyously. He grabbed Chi Chi by the head and squeezed her. Everyone stared at me. Buu was especially mad. A load of steam came from his head.

"Trunks, what were you thinking?" demanded Bulma.

"It wasn't my fault. It was him!" I pointed at Cell, who was about ready to blow his top.

"DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?" He yelled at me.

"Yeah, I've stopped you from killing everyone."

"WOULD I LET A BOMB GO OFF IF I WAS STILL IN THE HOUSE?"

"…" I realized that made a lot of sense. I knew I was in trouble.

"YOU'VE RUINED THE FIREWORKS!" 

"Fireworks?" I got up off the floor and walked over to the door. There, on the sidewalk, were the remnants of the cake. Out a little further in the street was the candle that had sat on top of the cake. It was…sparkling and shooting off small fireworks. It really wasn't a bomb. "Whew." I sighed. For once, something had gone my way. I turned back around. "IT WASN'T A BOMB! ISN'T THAT GREAT?"

"…" No one answered. However, I could sense the menacing hostility rising because all the faces in the room had become evil looking. I was starting to get a queasy feeling in my stomach. Master Roshi was particularly angry. He had dreamt about that cake for hours. I watched in horror as his ki started to rise. It became more and more powerful. Everyone else backed off.

"M…Master Roshi?" Krillan asked. Roshi didn't respond. Instead, he flared up his aura and readied himself for the Kame Hame Ha.

"Ka…"

"Can't we talk about this?" I asked, pleading with him.

"Me…" I started to look for someway to escape, but I knew it was pointless. 

"Ha…"

"Look, I thought that…"

"Me…"

"HEELLLLP!"

"HA!" Master Roshi brought his hands forward and was about to release the blast when Goku walked out of the bathroom and distracted him.

"What's going on here?" he asked innocently.

"Trunks threw away the cake," said Roshi, eying me menacingly.

"WHAT? NO CAKE?" Master Roshi shook his head. Then, he all of a sudden broke down sobbing. Krillan and Goten tried to comfort him, but to no avail.

"I'm…sorry," was all I could manage to say. I couldn't stand to see Master Roshi this way. I looked at Goku, hoping I wouldn't see the same deal. I didn't. Goku was sad. He was angry. More angry than I had ever seen him before.

"Goku?" I managed to whisper. The only words he managed to say were, "…no…cake." I backed up a few steps. Goku's ki was shooting up. In a matter of seconds, he hit SSJ. 

"Goku, I sorry." I said, hoping to get some sympathy. Instead, Goku powered up to SSJ2.

"No…cake." He said, louder this time. I started to run out of the house, but Master Roshi stood in my way. I slowly turned back toward Goku. His ki was still growing.

"NO CAKE!" Goku screamed. He busted into SSJ3. I was cringing in fear.

"PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! I'VE HAD A REALLY BAD YEAR!" I was on my knees. Goku, however, showed no emotion.

"Did you show the cake any mercy when you murdered it?"

"Murder? It's just a cake!"

He pointed a finger at me. "Don't insult the cake. You must pay for you crimes."

"Crime?"

"You must replace that which you've destroyed."

"You want me to get another cake at this hour? Have you forgotten what day this is? IS YOU CRAZY?" I clapped my hands over my mouth. Goku flashed an angry glance at me. Then he calmed down again.

"Leave now."

"But this is my…" Before I could finish, Goku charged a ki ball and pointed right at my face. I took the hint and ran outside. Seeing as how I no longer had a car, I ran 30 blocks to the nearest bakery. After a lot of coercing and bribery, I managed to get a huge cake. It was bigger than the previous. Needless to say, I didn't run home. It took about 2 hours, but I managed to get it back home without dropping it. I kicked the door. Bulma opened it.

"You're back!" She said surprised.

"Yeah." My legs felt like they were going to collapse on me.

"Oh," she said, a little embarrassed, "Come in." I lugged the huge cake by her and put it on the table. I scanned the room for Goku. I saw no one.

"Where is Goku?" I asked.

"Oh, he went home. He was tired. As a matter of fact, everyone left."

"LEFT? What am I supposed to do with this huge cake?"

"I guess you'll have to eat it."

"WHAT! That could take years!"

"Well, I want this room cleaned up by eight AM. The cake, too.

"But…"

"I'm going to sleep. Goodnight." I couldn't stop her. I was too tired to try. She left the room and looked around. As I scanned the mess that had been left by the partiers, I realized one very horrifying fact; The new millennium was going to be just as bad as the old one for me.

"It just isn't fair."

****

Trunks, This is the End of Your Life

Well, there you have it. These stories are a testimonial to my life. As you can see, I am not the super cool, impressive god that everyone thinks I am. I mean, c'mon, I lost to Pikachu. It's ridiculous. I really did try, too. Well, that's enough embarrassment for one day.

"BANG, BANG!" Someone knocked on the door.

"Who could that be?" I walk over to the door and open it up. It's…THE ROCK!

"…um"

"Shut up, jabronee. Are you the purple haired freak that's been calling The Rock, trying to get The Rock in some kind of loser book?"

"…yeah?"

"Well, The Rock says this. You…never, and The Rock means never, leave The Rock out of any book. It doesn't matter if it's the Alphabet Book. When you get to G, you mention the Great One. When you get to P, you mention the People's Champ. And when you get to R, you mention the most electrifying man in sports entertainment today, the Great One, the People's Champ. You mention The Rock!"

"But you didn't want to be in the book!" I shout. I grab his letter off the desk. The Rock stares at me with a questioning look.

"You…dare shout at The Rock. Who the hell are you?"

"…I…"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS! The fact of the matter is this. Your book SUCKS! As a matter of fact, its only true purpose is to be used as paper to pick up monkey crap. Don't you have something to say to The Rock?"

"…I…"

"Shut up when The Rock is talking. The Rock's fixing to lay the smack down on your roody poo candy ass!" I started to feel queasy from the verbal assault so I sat down in a chair.

"Are you feeling okay, kid?"

"…I…"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU FEEL! If you want to feel something, The Rock says you can feel his fist on your mouth." With that, The Rock hits me on the jaw with a roundhouse right. The force of the blow knocks down the chair with me in it. The Rock stands over me. "It's time, jabronee, to feel the most electrifying move in sports entertainment today." He grabs his right elbow pad and pulls it off. Then he throws it at my face. He runs to one of the couches and jumps into it. He bounces right off. Then he runs to the other side of the room and bounces off a chair. Then he runs up to me, stops, kicks his right leg out, and drops the elbow…

__


End file.
